I’ve been pondering, brooding, stewing, and struggling over an idea lately that has my brain and emotions all in a twist. It’s a simple, yet complex idea that involves the human psychie and our need to be included. Have we allowed social media to replace and blur the lines of social interaction? We all have a want to be included in parts of the social masses, to be involved with our friends and families, to be a part of groups, to have our likes and hobbies be appreciated by others. But where do we drawn the line and say that this is for me to experience as a person, by myself, and I don’t need to bring anyone else into the experience with me?
This whole line of thought has been brought on by my own conscious acknowledgement that I am far to concerned with posting on social media, or rather, the persistent checking of acknowledgements or comments on my posts. “Chimping” if you will, to borrow a colloquial term from the digital photography world. Chimping is the act of looking at the digital capture screen immediately after taking a photo to see if it is right. It is a self approval and occurs after every single photo. Instead of trusting your skills, your knowledge, your talent, whether you have everything right or everything is wrong, you have to check to see if the photo is approvable. Before the immediacy of digital photography you had to wait until your film was developed before you knew if you had captured the photograph as you intended. It may be days or even weeks before you see the finished results and the emotional connection to the moment has either been firmed in your memories or it has faded. A kind of cooling off period. Then, you can objectively look at the photograph and see if it has flaws, if it still stirs your emotions the same way as when it was taken, if their are aspects you like or some you don’t, or if you need to improve your skills. Then you can decide to share it with the world or keep it just for yourself. Social media has become a way of “chimping” on our lives. We don’t have a cooling off period before we blast our feelings, hatred, love, silly ramblings, opinions, or what we ate for lunch to the whole world. Then we immediately start looking for approvals, comments, “likes”, “hearts or thumbs up”, “dislikes”, or any of the social media approval connotations. Often times it’s just to see if someone saw our post. We need to know someone saw what we posted. But why?
That’s a whole box of worms I simply can’t open. It’s far to complicated to delve into the psychology of the mind and I know far to little about it to even try. But, I do know that we are social beings and require social interaction to promote healthy and sound minds and emotions. That’s where the social media crutch has skewed things a bit. Our minds are being tricked and are slowly, or fastly in reality, becoming addicted to the immediate approval by our “social networks” of every single thought, opinion, our likes, our dislikes, what we eat, what we wear, what our kids are doing in school or sports, right down to whether the new shoes we bought are “liked” by our followers. We have no opinion of ourselves only the opinion of ourself, by our followers, on the other side of the social media “like” button.
The really upsetting part of all the social media drain on our lives it that our children have been in a world that doesn’t know any different. They have never known a time when you couldn’t post about the new clothes you just bought, or the expensive restaurant you ate dinner at, or the home crafting project you just completed, or the rant you have about a bad situation you experienced. They have never had to wait to have their pictures to be developed, a letter or card to be delivered to a friend by the post service, or a special evening or event to wear that new outfit they bought for everyone to see. As soon as it happens it’s posted to “the platform”. Their inner monologue of self checks and internal review is being bypassed for more clicks of the “like” button. Their ability to make sound decisions based on their likes and dislikes are being superseded by the underlying quest to attain more likes or more followers. They are simply not enjoying their lives for themselves, they are enjoying what they think, other people will think, that they think, that they are.
So where in all of this media of being social do we draw the line between self gratification for our own personal well being and the quest to satisfy the masses of social junkies following our every move? Well, the easiest place is right at the end of your finger tips… your smart phone. The ever convenient device whose humble beginnings started as a fast and easy way to summon help. Now, we can call, text, snap, post, blog, blurb, or whatever else we want to on a device not much bigger than an average wallet. That’s the problem, it’s too easy to pick up your smart phone, snap a picture, and post to a platform. We need to disconnect ourselves.
There are two main avenues that the smart phone and social media have lead us down in this rabbit hole. One, the smart phone has allowed social media and messaging to become instant. Again, no cooling off period. You can air your gripes to the world immediately. Two, there is no face to face or person to person interaction thru the “device”. You can post and text all day and never see or speak to any of the people on the other side. You can see pictures of them, but you can’t speak to them and see their facial response or how their body language changes as the conversation progresses. There is a lot to be said about the nuances of the human brain, but one of the most fascinating is its ability to pick-up on the slightest of changes in another person’s face, body language, tone of voice, and overall demeanor. Your brain can’t do that through social media or text messages!
To fix this we need to get back in front of each other. That’s right, put down the phones, tablets, and computer screens and enjoy the direct company of someone. Here is a idea that I would like to personally implement in my life and for my kids. We are going to have a trip back to a simpler time, where there was no social media. First off, phones are for phone calls and computers are for doing work and that’s all they can be used for. Everytime you feel like posting a message to a friend, write them a letter and mail it. Everytime you want to rant about a grief you have, or to gush about something that makes you really happy, write it in a journal entry. Want to post pictures of the what-cha-ma-call-it you bought, made, or found? Then take some film photos and wait for them to be developed. Want to get in the chatroom and hang out with your friends? Nope, get yourselves together and go to the movies, the arcade, or bowling alley. Just go somewhere out in public in front of each other. Have fun and enjoy each other’s company. What about a family and friends game night? Get a bunch of folks together, everybody brings a finger food/snack, and everyone plays games. The rules still apply, no social media posts, no messaging, and the only pictures have to be on film. Sounds crazy, I know, but it just…might…work.
We have spent so much time trying to bring ourselves closer together thru the invention of social media, text messaging, and other modern media conveniences that we have actually isolated ourselves even more. We have built ourselves into a prison surrounded by walls constructed with the “likes” or “follows”, the messages received, and the flashing icons indicating someone has seen our post. If we remove social media from our lives then the walls are torn down. We have to tear down the walls! We cannot be confined by what we perceive others think or feel about us. Each moment of our lives can now be about us, how we feel, what we like, silly thoughts that make us giggle, or precious memories spent with family and friends. We can become fully immersed in our own lives, not just a sorter deciding which parts get to be posted. Nothing gets posted, it gets remembered.
Wiregrass Farm & Workshop 